How do you rank the best ass in Phuket?

I will not ride across the island for a cute face. Show me the ass in the photos, then we can talk about Grab.

Are the photos on Best Ass in Phuket real directory covers?

Yes. Those covers are real Phuket listing photos, not a studio mock. When the list is tits or ass I skip the pretty-face crop and take the shot that shows the part the title promised.

Does Best Ass in Phuket replace walking Phuket yourself?

No. Best Ass in Phuket is my current field note — memory plus photos. Decide the body first. Ignore my order if your hands disagree.

Phuket · 2026-05-29 · updated 2026-08-16

Best Ass in Phuket (Ranked)

Best ass in Phuket ranked — island galleries, Patong density filtered, hip proof and youth.

phuket rankings ass hips

Direct answer

Phuket is a longer taxi than a soi. That should make you pickier, not drunker.

I have sat in a Grab to Bangla telling myself "we will see." We saw. I paid for the see. Now I want hips on the phone before I sit down.

Island sun is flattering. Hotel lamps are not. I rank the lamp version.

Island tax is real. I will not spend a Grab on a smile. Photos have to show the ass. Bigger hips, younger, anal if listed. Pretty island light is not a measurement. I have learned this the expensive way.

The ranking

#10
Would I pay the Grab
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Would the ass alone clear the fare again. That is the whole island method. Yes.
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#9
She listed anal
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Anal on the listing, hips that showed up. I am not writing a poem about it.
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#8
Pretty lost
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Prettier face on a louder listing. Worse hips. I am allowed to be shallow in the correct direction.
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#7
Selfies lost
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Selfie pack vs three body shots. I have dated the selfie pack. I rank the body shots.
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#6
Left before the bucket
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Left the soi because the gallery had already said yes. The bucket beer can find another tourist.
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#5
Listing was shy
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High-rise lamp vs the number on the card. The card was being modest. Rare and welcome.
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#4
Younger, heavier
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Younger listing, bigger hips, photos that were not a joke. I do not need a fourth reason.
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#3
Not a beach crop
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Beach photos are liars in a nice way. The rear angles in the listing were not. Ranked those.
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#2
Bangla can keep the noise
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Bangla tried to invent my type. I already had one. I am getting too old for invented types.
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#1
Fare made sense
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The Grab was long. The ass was the only good reason. I remember the pin, not the traffic.
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If ass is why you came, do not let Bangla write the shortlist after beer three.

Hips and photos first. The fare is only funny when the night was already a yes.

Questions

How do you rank the best ass in Phuket?: I will not ride across the island for a cute face. Show me the ass in the photos, then we can talk about Grab.
Are the photos on Best Ass in Phuket real directory covers?: Yes. Those covers are real Phuket listing photos, not a studio mock. When the list is tits or ass I skip the pretty-face crop and take the shot that shows the part the title promised.
Who is Best Ass in Phuket (Ranked) for?: Phuket is a longer taxi than a soi.
Does Best Ass in Phuket replace walking Phuket yourself?: No. Best Ass in Phuket is my current field note — memory plus photos. Decide the body first. Ignore my order if your hands disagree.

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20+ only. LanternPass is a directory — no facilitation, no booking, no payment for sexual services through this site. Rankings and scene notes are editorial opinion plus published listing signals. Photos shown are real directory covers when available.